Self Inflicted Injuries

I had once thought that I was 'The Queen Of Accidental Self Inflicted Injuries'. I excelled myself in both 2002 and 2005, first with a particularly painful empalement on a barbwire fence whilst trying to avoid entry payment to a castle in Scotland, and secondly with a fractured finger as a result of consumption of secret squirrel blue drinks while dressed as a bunny rabbit practicing my dance moves to a wee Usher number.

Alas it seems that others in my company are putting themselves in the running for the aforementioned most distinguished award. For two weeks running now folks have shed blood in my presence. A dear friend kindly but not wisely fed her 1 year old daughter to a hampster, finger first. I bestowed compliments upon her in regards to her daughter's ability to cover large surfaces with the quantities of red fluid that leaked from such a small wound. And last night a college educated woman of the world managed to sever herself (well her index finger) on a French baguette. Blood was spilt and bandaids dispensed. How does one cut themselves on a loaf of bread with not a knife in sight?